I amDevrim Vardar.

I write code, fiction,
and non-fiction.

Full-Stack Developer, Startup Entrepreneur & Sociology PhD.

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e-Residency Event @ Tallinn, Estonia / May 2023
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AI Written Crochet Pattern

My wife just created the world's first ever AI-written, human-made, crochet pattern for a Christmas beanie and cowl!!!

Being the artisan shopkeeper craftsmen that she is, she immediately started crocheting the hell out of that pattern to race to complete it and put it on sale on Etsy as a Christmas bundle.

If you know anyone who crochets, and can read a pattern, or you're curious about the result:

As AI, unfortunately, could not create a proper mitten, she is giving that away for free, as it is merely created by a puny human, herself, not by the magical AI.


Now, the story of how things unraveled...

After witnessing me, bedazzled, playing around with the ChatGPT, which I strongly believe is an amazing improvement, and a promising example of what AI could become, my wife stepped in.

She asked: "Let's ask the smart robot if it can create a crochet pattern?"

She has been selling crochet and knitting patterns on Etsy for several years now. She has her own bestseller patterns that her customers love and highly rate. She has free patterns that she is giving away on her website and so. She thoroughly enjoys the craft and happy to provide fun and unique patterns of her creation for cool accessories for people to make for their own.

So, one can easily forecast that, she asked her previous question with some proud in her work, some pinch of naive contempt, just a tad of unsettled disregard and a smudge of general disbelief towards what AI could do.


"What would you like me to ask it?" I questioned her with a indistinct smirk on my face that I tried hard to hide. As much as I believe in AI, most of my time will still be in her company, not the AI's. (at least I think until total conquer of the world by the AI)

"Just make it direct", she said, "and simple, let's see if it can handle the simplest job" and she removed me from the command of the keyboard, and sat to write this:

"Write a crochet pattern for simple christmas beanie"

Within couple of seconds OpenAI wrote the whole prescription.

Her human eyes could not believe it, so after checking and reading the pattern as serious as a customs inspector, silently nodding, and a displeased approval that could be read from the edges of her lips.

"Let's tell it to make the pattern with a velvet yarn that weighs 100grs for 120ms length, and make it with 5mm hook"

Within couple of seconds ChatGPT, responded with her new discontentment, a proper working answer, and even more disturbingly full sentenced replies proving that it understood her more than me, and that they can actually be besties as she has no one around to share her hobby with.

So after couple of more iterations. She even tried to teach OpenAI a new stitch.

Because we and perhaps the humanity needed the AI to create a Christmas cowl that goes along with the beanie it just created, but the humanity needs to make the cowl in "moss stitch", whatever that means.

"Please write a crochet pattern for a Christmas cowl that you can make with a 5mm hook and velvet yarn (100gr/120m). And uses the hdc moss stitch."

So she went from a short imperative sentence, to a kind request within couple of minutes of chat with the AI. I told you they were going to be besties.

Well, unfortunately the OpenAI did not know how to do a proper moss stitch, it tried hard, but couldn't convince her. So she tried to teach it.

"No. That is not the moss stitch. Moss stitch goes like this..."

And she explained moss stitch to it. And it absorbed it. And even got a little cocky with it to reply her within the pattern explaining:

"The moss stitch, also known as the granite stitch or linen stitch, is a popular crochet stitch that creates a textured, patterned fabric."

Maybe that ticked her off, or that it was going to be too much work for her human hands, she gave up on the "moss stitch", still, whatever that is, and moved to a simpler option with the cowl.

At the end, they got along well, and together they created the world's first ever AI written, human-made crochet pattern for a Christmas beanie and cowl bundle.

Being the artisan shopkeeper craftsmen that she is, she immediately started crocheting the hell out of that pattern to race to put it on sale on Etsy as a Christmas bundle.

Nobly accepting and silently ignoring shortcomings of her new bestie, as even after a couple of tries it couldn't create a crochet pattern living up to her standards for the fingerless mitten she had in mind, that she would like to put in the bundle, she decided she would gift it herself, one of her creations, within the bundle, as future remains of the mankind and as also a token of appreciation to the AI.